While engulfed in the darkness, clinging to hope

I had no idea how vast the ocean really was.

My only vantage point was the next gigantic wave

Washing over me…forcing me under.

How many times did I claw my way to the surface?

Countless.

And yet, I’m acutely aware of each and every time.

Surviving doesn’t always feel victorious.

Sometimes it feels like crippling fear.

I try not to let my mind go there,

But my mind has a mind of its own…

Protective and suspicious of the sun, relentless in the vigil of preparing for the worst.

And if the worst never comes?

A life wasted?

Today, I’m not in the sea.

Today, I’m at the top of the highest mountain.

Descent is inevitable, I know.

But today, I’m kissing the clouds.